Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i came on her dog
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
