he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
