I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
