It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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