When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
is it fun? or sober?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
