Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
