Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
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Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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