oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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