the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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