Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
