You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
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