I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
