Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
