I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
