hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
