that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its about making memories worth repressing
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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