She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i would punch a child for taco bell
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
