I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
