there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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