You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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