forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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