tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"