How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.