yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize