last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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