so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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