I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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