Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
