I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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