help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
