mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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