I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
