He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
