The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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