Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
