If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
