Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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