i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
