I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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