he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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