I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
