How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
