Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
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I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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