Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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