His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Randomize
