i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
