Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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