Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
