Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
