bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
