Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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