your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
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Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
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I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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