So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
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You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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