I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
