Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
