i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
