I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize