handjob tips. give me some.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
