just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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