Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
