Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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