Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
