I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
