Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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