Pappa wants mamma naked
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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