Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We had to coat check the pizza.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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