It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
