We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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