this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
