Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
