Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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